“In the service of demystifying Love and War in Intimate Relationships, Solomon and Tatkin have woven together coherent narratives of sessions with couples and correlated them with commentary on their therapeutic rationale and the theoretical basis to produce a brilliant and luminous integration of attachment theory, neuroscience and mindfulness. In this innovative couple’s therapy, they have documented the healing power of couples learning to take care of each other and put to rest the myth of the healing capacity of the autonomous self. I recommend this instructive book to all therapists, but especially to therapists who want to help couples co-regulate and co-heal each other.”

Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., Imago Therapy Institute; Author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples and Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved

“In this cutting edge volume, Solomon and Tatkin make an important and unique contribution to a deeper understanding of the treatment of couples. These master clinicians have creatively integrated very recent  neuroscience, attachment theory, updated models of relational psychotherapy, and rich case material to produce a clinically complex and scientifically-based approach to working more effectively with both the minds and the bodies of both members of an intimate dyad. This book should be part of the working library of any clinician whose practice is informed by the ongoing paradigm shift in psychotherapy.”

Allan N. Schore, Author of Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self, and Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self

“Within these pages you will find a fascinating presentation of basic principles that can transform how you understand and carry out couples’ therapy.  Combining the creative minds of two leaders in the field of helping relationships heal, Love and War in Intimate Relationships carries us into this new way of thinking by drawing on two important bodies of knowledge:  attachment research and neuroscience.”

Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight Institute; Author of The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being, and The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are

“In Love and War, the authors skillfully translate ideas from neuroscience, regulation theory, and attachment research into hopeful, practical and accessible interventions for working with the here and now experience of couples in therapy.  You will find yourself on a compelling journey through the complexities of relationships as each author's unique approach is elucidated through case examples.   A new lens on couple therapy, this book will revolutionize the way you work with partners and the way you view relationships.”

Pat Ogden, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute; Author of Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy

“What a gift! Tatkin and Solomon offer us the most illuminating and creative work on couples therapy to be  published in a long time. Through a variety of cases, they artfully explain why loving partners go to war with  each other and they give a fascinating demonstration of how to apply biology, physiology, attachment and  arousal regulation in moment-to-moment interactions. This book will be eye-opening no matter what your theoretical orientation is.”

Ellyn Bader , Ph.D., The Couples Institute; Author of In Quest of the Mythical Mate, High Impact Couples, and Tell Me No Lies.