The therapist must rely on guiding principles rather than psychological and scientific theory. I believe this is the best way to communicate the meaning underlying the technical material; the bottom line reasons for being in a committed relationship. A fine example is the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous which relies upon a foundation of principles not personalities. People are gathered in a basically leaderless forum supported by guiding principles that, if followed, will lead individuals to recovery.

The therapist must do the same here with couples. The vast majority of couples that come into your practice will not be prepared to answer any questions about guiding principles because they probably do not have any. Neither partner has ever sat down with one another to discuss the purpose of marriage or what kind of marriage their's should be.