3. Arousal Regulation
Clinicians can group adult primary attachment relationships according to internal working model as well as arousal bias. Romantic partners may demonstrate a sympathetic or parasympathetic bias that drives the dyad toward hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused poles. This could be the case whether or not the couple represents a secure or insecure dyadic system. Low arousal, avoidant couples tend to present with a similar set of symptoms including, but not exclusive to chronic low libido, chronic indecisiveness, chronic reliance upon autoregulation, chronic low contact maintenance- proximity seeking, and chronic use of dissociation as a primary defense against intrusion. These couples do not get into a loud arguments or fights. Despite obvious mutual dependencies, partners often express a preference for being alone. By contrast, high arousal couples are often found to have very high libidos, high levels of contact maintenance and proximity seeking, high-capacity for both positive and negative vitality affects (e.g. ecstasy and rage), and low capacity for soothing and calming. These couples demonstrate rapid kindling for intense fighting and predatory behavior.